Adult Faith Formation, May 8 -- Marriage and Family Life (Father Ryan Erlenbush, Corpus Christi -- Series on Marriage, part 2 of 6)

Objectives of Session 2 – Marriage and Family Life

1) To appreciate the teachings of the Council of Trent on Marriage

2) To recognize the “natural inclination” of all men toward marriage

3) To articulate the blessings and ends of marriage

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Adult Faith Formation:

Marriage, In Scripture and in the Church

Session 2 – Marriage and Family, the Domestic Church

I. Review of Last Week: Marriage in nature and in the Church

A. Outline of Sessions:

1. May 1 – Introduction to marriage, in nature and in the Church

2. May 8 – Marriage and family life

[May 15 – NO SESSION]

3. May 22 – Marriage in Scripture, both the Old Testament and the New

4. May 29 – Matrimonial Consent and Indissolubility

5. June 5 – Celibacy and Marriage

6. June 12 – Modern objections to the Church’s teaching, Review

B. Definition of marriage

C. Marriage does exist in nature, and was elevated by Christ to a sacrament

II. Review of the Canons of the Council of Trent, to understand some of the differences between the Catholic approach and the Protestant approach.

A. Marriage is a sacrament

B. No divorce or polygamy

C. Points regarding the dissolving of the matrimonial bond

III. Reasons for marriage according to the Roman Catechism  (of Trent)

A. The natural inclination – discussion of the “natural vocation” all have to marriage

B. Desire for a family – most especially as a “domestic Church”

C. Healing of concupiscence

D. Other reasons are good, but not essential and only desired in accord with these three

IV. The three blessings of marriage, from the Roman Catechism

A. Fidelity

B. Offspring

C. The Sacrament

V. The goods or ends of marriage, from the Catechism of the Catholic Church

A. The marriage bond

B. The grace of matrimony

C. Unity and indissolubility

D. Fidelity

E. Open to life

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Council of Trent -- ON THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY.

CANON I.-If any one saith, that matrimony is not truly and properly one of the seven sacraments of the evangelic law, (a sacrament) instituted by Christ the Lord; but that it has been invented by men in the Church; and that it does not confer grace; let him be anathema.

CANON II.-If any one saith, that it is lawful for Christians to have several wives at the same time, and that this is not prohibited by any divine law; let him be anathema.

CANON III.-If any one saith, that those degrees only of consanguinity and affinity, which are set down in Leviticus, can hinder matrimony from being contracted, and dissolve it when contracted; and that the Church cannot dispense in some of those degrees, or establish that others may hinder and dissolve it ; let him be anathema.

CANON IV.-If any one saith, that the Church could not establish impediments dissolving marriage; or that she has erred in establishing them; let him be anathema.

CANON V.-If any one saith, that on account of heresy, or irksome cohabitation, or the affected absence of one of the parties, the bond of matrimony may be dissolved; let him be anathema.

CANON VI.-If any one saith, that matrimony contracted, but not consummated, is not dissolved by the solemn profession of religion by one of the married parties; let him be anathema.

CANON VII.-If any one saith, that the Church has erred, in that she hath taught, and doth teach, in accordance with the evangelical and apostolical doctrine, that the bond of matrimony cannot be dissolved on account of the adultery of one of the married parties; and that both, or even the innocent one who gave not occasion to the adultery, cannot contract another marriage, during the life-time of the other; and, that he is guilty of adultery, who, having put away the adulteress, shall take another wife, as also she, who, having put away the adulterer, shall take another husband; let him be anathema.

CANON VIII.-If any one saith, that the Church errs, in that she declares that, for many causes, a separation may take place between husband and wife, in regard of bed, or in regard of cohabitation, for a determinate or for an indeterminate period; let him be anathema.

CANON IX.-If any one saith, that clerics constituted in sacred orders, or Regulars, who have solemnly professed chastity, are able to contract marriage, and that being contracted it is valid, notwithstanding the ecclesiastical law, or vow; and that the contrary is no thing else than to condemn marriage; and, that all who do not feel that they have the gift of chastity, even though they have made a vow thereof, may contract marriage; let him be anathema: seeing that God refuses not that gift to those who ask for it rightly, neither does He suffer us to be tempted above that which we are able.

CANON X.-If any one saith, that the marriage state is to be placed above the state of virginity, or of celibacy, and that it is not better and more blessed to remain in virginity, or in celibacy, than to be united in matrimony; let him be anathema.

CANON XI.-If any one saith, that the prohibition of the solemnization of marriages at certain times of the year, is a tyrannical superstition, derived from the superstition of the heathen; or, condemn the benedictions and other ceremonies which the Church makes use of therein; let him be anathema.

CANON XII.-If any one saith, that matrimonial causes do not belong to ecclesiastical judges; let him be anathema.

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The Goods and Ends of Matrimony  (based on the Catechism of the Catholic Church)

I.  The marriage bond

The man and wife give consent, God himself creates the marriage bond. This bond, once consummated, is a covenant that is irrevocable. This marriage bond is a sacrament of the love of Christ and the Church.

II. The grace of matrimony

Marriage is not only a remedy for concupiscence (it is that), but also gives a special grace suited to assist in the sacrificing love of the spouses. Marriage, like all the sacraments, truly gives grace.

III. Unity and Indissolubility

The unity of marriage specifies that it be between one man and one woman. If a pagan convert has taken many wives, only his first is considered to be his true wife.

Because marriage is indissoluble, even if a married couple is divorced and no longer share common life, yet they are still truly married and are never free to marry another so long as their spouse lives.

Divorce is a great affront to the unity and indissolubility of marriage – in his own day, Martin Luther and others advocated for polygamy in certain circumstances; no surprise that protestants allow divorce. Divorce and remarriage is nothing other than attempting to take many wives/husbands.

IV. The fidelity of conjugal love

This fidelity and commitment to remain united one to another is a great sign to the world of the power of God’s grace.

There are certain cases where, due to physical or grave moral damage, a couple is permitted to be separated (see St Thomas Aquinas for a further discussion of this). Even still, neither is ever free to remarry, so long as the spouse lives.

V. Openness to life

“By its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring.” (Gaudium et Spes 48, CCC 1652)

“Children are the supreme gift of marriage and contribute greatly to the good of the parents themselves.” (GS 50, CCC 1652)

[Discussion of contraception as contrary to marital love]

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The Motives And Ends Of Marriage  ---  From the Roman Catechism

We have now to explain why man and woman should be joined in marriage. First of all, nature itself by an instinct implanted in both sexes impels them to such companionship, and this is further encouraged by the hope of mutual assistance in bearing more easily the discomforts of life and the infirmities of old age.

A second reason for marriage is the desire of family, not so much, however, with a view to leave after us heirs to inherit our property and fortune, as to bring up children in the true faith and in the service of God. That such was the principal object of the holy Patriarchs when they married is clear from Scripture. Hence the Angel, when informing Tobias of the means of repelling the violent assaults of the evil demon, says: I will show thee who they are over whom the devil can prevail; for they who in such manner receive matrimony as to shut out God from themselves and from their mind, and to give themselves to their lust, as the horse and mule which have not understanding, over them the devil hath power. He then adds: Thou shalt take the virgin with the fear of the Lord, moved rather for love of children than for lust, that in the seed of Abraham thou mayest obtain a blessing in children. It was also for this reason that God instituted marriage from the beginning; and therefore married persons who, to prevent conception or procure abortion, have recourse to medicine, are guilty of a most heinous crime, nothing less than wicked conspiracy to commit murder.

A third reason has been added, as a consequence of the fall of our first parents. On account of the loss of original innocence the passions began to rise in rebellion against right reason; and man, conscious of his own frailty and unwilling to fight the battles of the flesh, is supplied by marriage with an antidote by which to avoid sins of lust. For fear of fornication, says the Apostle, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband; and a little after, having recommended to married persons a temporary abstinence from the marriage debt, to give themselves to prayer, he adds: Return together again, lest Satan tempt you for your incontinency.

These are ends, some one of which, those who desire to contract marriage piously and religiously, as becomes the children of the Saints, should propose to themselves. If to these we add other causes which induce to contract marriage, and, in choosing a wife, to prefer one person to another, such as the desire of leaving an heir, wealth, beauty, illustrious descent, congeniality of disposition - such motives, because not inconsistent with the holiness of marriage, are not to be condemned. We do not find that the Sacred Scriptures condemn the Patriarch Jacob for having chosen Rachel for her beauty, in preference to Lia.

So much should be explained regarding Matrimony as a natural contract.

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The Three Blessings of Marriage   ----  From the Roman Catechism

The faithful should also be shown that there are three blessings of marriage: children, fidelity and the Sacrament. These are blessings which to some degree compensate for the inconveniences referred to by the Apostle in the words: Such shall have tribulation of the flesh, and they lead to this other result that sexual intercourse, which is sinful outside of marriage, is rendered right and honourable.

Offspring

The first blessing, then, is a family, that is to say, children born of a true and lawful wife. So highly did the Apostle esteem this blessing that he says: The woman shall be saved by bearing children.' These words are to be understood not only of bearing children, but also of bringing them up and training them to the practice of piety; for the Apostle immediately subjoins: If she continue in faith. Scripture says: Hast thou children? Instruct them and bow down their necks from childhood. The same is taught by the Apostle; while Tobias, Job and other holy Patriarchs in Sacred Scripture furnish us with beautiful examples of such training. The duties of both parents and children will, however, be set forth in detail when we come to speak of the fourth Commandment.

Fidelity

The second advantage of marriage is faith, not indeed that virtue which we receive in Baptism; but the fidelity which binds wife to husband and husband to wife in such a way that they mutually deliver to each other power over their bodies, promising at the same time never to violate the holy bond of Matrimony. This is easily inferred from the words pronounced by Adam when taking Eve as his wife, and which were afterwards confirmed by Christ our Lord in the Gospel: Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they shall be two in one flesh. It is also inferred from the words of the Apostle: The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and in like manner, the husband hath not power of his own body but the wife. Justly, then, did the Lord in the Old Law ordain the most severe penalties against adulterers who violated this conjugal fidelity.

Matrimonial fidelity also demands that they love one another with a special, holy and pure love; not as adulterers love one another but as Christ loves His Church. This is the rule laid down by the Apostle when he says: Husbands, love your wives as Christ also loved the church. And surely (Christ's) love for His Church was immense; it was a love inspired not by His own advantage, but only by the advantage of His spouse.

Sacrament

The third advantage is called the Sacrament, that is to say, the indissoluble bond of marriage. As the Apostle has it: The Lord commanded that the wife depart not from the husband, and if she depart that she remain unmarried or be reconciled to' her husband; and let not the husband put away his wife. And truly, if marriage as a Sacrament represents the union of Christ with His Church, it also necessarily follows that just as Christ never separates Himself from His Church, so in like manner the wife can never be separated from her husband in so far as regards the marriage tie.