tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578980753063154388.post6539692763698721077..comments2024-03-25T17:14:03.066-07:00Comments on The New Theological Movement: Can I be forgiven after having a vasectomy? (The vasectomy question, Part I)Father Ryan Erlenbushhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07557817305024750902noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578980753063154388.post-85456262404517097732014-09-17T10:43:08.006-07:002014-09-17T10:43:08.006-07:00My husband and I repented and reversed our vasecto...My husband and I repented and reversed our vasectomy and have 3 more children here (1 miscarried.) I shudder to think of where we would be without the reversal. It brought a more complete healing to our marriage, I believe. The pull of the secular culture is so strong, I do not believe people understand the gravity of what they do when they sterilize. Thank you for writing this. I am always praying for conversion and for our priests to be strong leaders in defense of life-giving marriages.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09551005149997186970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578980753063154388.post-45286192394222015322014-08-25T10:19:39.379-07:002014-08-25T10:19:39.379-07:00The cost of a reversal would have to be taken into...The cost of a reversal would have to be taken into account by a confessor. Even if a couple had to save up money for the reversal, they could still receive absolution straight away. Father Ryan Erlenbushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07557817305024750902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578980753063154388.post-28505442178452425092014-08-22T18:54:12.565-07:002014-08-22T18:54:12.565-07:00The problem I have with all of this is contracepti...The problem I have with all of this is contraception is NEVER preached about. There is no responsibilitly by our priest to truly educate the people on this very important issue. When is NFP ever preached, it is not, because it is a heated topic. As a result white Catholics, since the sexual revolution are literally contracepting themsleves out of existance. What a pity.Jerrynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578980753063154388.post-65766342416883689242014-08-21T15:13:07.943-07:002014-08-21T15:13:07.943-07:00Thank you for answering my questions, Father! If ...Thank you for answering my questions, Father! If you have time, I have more. :)<br /><br />1. In the case of #2 of my example, would it be correct to say that they may, after the reversal, continue to practice a method such as NFP in order to avoid conception completely due to the serious risk to the mother’s physical life and health?<br /><br />2. A quick look at costs for both tubal and vasectomy reversal surgeries suggests that the procedures may cost between $5,000 and $10,000 (depending on many factors that will vary by patient, location, etc.). It seems that insurance often does not cover these procedures (though that may change). Given that it may be proper for confessors to require reversal in cases where the affordability of the procedure is not a question at all, it is still quite likely that an expense of five to ten thousand dollars may be outside the range of affordability for many people. Has there ever been a pro-life Catholic effort to create a charitable fund to assist repentant Catholics to reverse tubal ligations or vasectomies? Erin Manninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01321137500437209970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578980753063154388.post-6487340267181495182014-08-20T10:48:28.175-07:002014-08-20T10:48:28.175-07:00My husband had a vasectomy without telling me, abo...My husband had a vasectomy without telling me, about 15 years ago. He later told me, explaining that he did it to save me from excessive difficulty, after the birth of our fourth child. He said he was willing to carry the guilt because I would never violate my conscience that way. I discovered what he had done under circumstances that I can only call miraculous. The grief it gave me was so overwhelming I could hardly cope with it. A priest told me that I didn't have the moral right to insist that he reverse it, but I couldn't stop feeling devastated. My husband went back to the doctor that performed it, and told him that he'd rather have his arm amputated than live with what he'd done. The doctor performed a reversal free of charge. We conceived a son within the next month or two, and named him after Pope John Paul. After him we had three more live births. <br />I can't begin to express how much it affects us to consider how close we came to not having our beautiful children. We love them so much it hurts. This is one of the reasons why I look at sin differently now. I don't see it so much as a crime that deserves a penalty, I see it more as a *loss* of blessings. Gifts from God that we rejected because of the lack of the proper moral disposition.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578980753063154388.post-26534790737460395772014-08-20T10:40:04.890-07:002014-08-20T10:40:04.890-07:00Red Cardigan, Great questions!
1) I think that thi...Red Cardigan, Great questions!<br />1) I think that this would be determined on a very case-by-case basis -- and the couple's consciences would have to be the guide when the couple is very near the end of child bearing years.<br />2) I do not think that the dangers of a pregnancy could legitimately be used as a reason to not get a reversal. That seems to be contraceptive.<br />3) I think you are quite right in suggesting that a couple could voluntarily embrace periodic abstinence as a means of making reparation for a vasectomy -- perhaps during the penitential seasons of Advent and Lent, or (depending on the woman's age) following "NFP" styled abstinence periods. Obviously, this would not be required, but it could be a good sign of contrition.<br /><br />Peace! +Father Ryan Erlenbushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07557817305024750902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578980753063154388.post-57328462127539820442014-08-20T10:20:13.803-07:002014-08-20T10:20:13.803-07:00Red Cardigan, I had a child at the age of 40, 43 a...Red Cardigan, I had a child at the age of 40, 43 and 45, after this I have had four miscarriages.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578980753063154388.post-36814657579235895252014-08-19T22:34:47.131-07:002014-08-19T22:34:47.131-07:00Father, I find this discussion fascinating. May I...Father, I find this discussion fascinating. May I ask a few hypothetical questions here?<br /><br />1. Is there an age within “childbearing years” at which the cost of a reversal (tubal or vasectomy) would be disproportionate to the likelihood of a successful pregnancy? For instance, if a Protestant couple were converting to Catholicism and had come to grieve over a previous sterilization decision, would it be disproportionate to require a reversal, even if the couple could afford it and there were no health risks from the reversal itself, if the wife were perhaps somewhere between 40 to 45 years of age?<br /><br />2. If the couple had undergone the sterilization because of a grave risk to the mother’s life or health from subsequent pregnancies, and a reversal would mean the strictest NFP use possible, would it, again, be disproportionate to require the reversal for absolution? I am not suggesting here that there is no difference between NFP and sterilization--they could not be more different!--but wondering if requiring surgical reversal when there is already little to no possibility of a successful future pregnancy (especially if the risk to the wife’s health could easily cause her death and/or the death of any unborn child she might conceive) would be out of proportion to the spiritual gain.<br /><br />3. In any situation where a reversal is not possible due to financial or health risk from the surgery itself (not the health risks of possible future pregnancy, which I agree are a separate concern and may possibly be appropriate to address with NFP or another Church-approved method), could the couple’s sincere sorrow for this sin take the form of a voluntary practice of occasional abstinence from the marital act? I realize that for a confessor to require such an ongoing penance would be problematic, but if the couple were to present a plan for such a thing based upon some brief and reasonable periods of abstinence for the remainder of what would have been their childbearing years, would this suffice as evidence of their sincere sorrow especially when reversal isn’t possible?Erin Manninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01321137500437209970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578980753063154388.post-12938745012218613562014-08-19T13:23:22.409-07:002014-08-19T13:23:22.409-07:00What if,
I am very sorry to hear that the priest g...What if,<br />I am very sorry to hear that the priest gave you such terrible advice ... indeed, not only is that objectively a serious sin on his part, it is also a canonical crime (a lesser form of what is called "solicitation"). He could be punished with a just canonical penalty.<br /><br />However, for your part, remember that God always can bring good from evil ... indeed, he would not have allowed this sad event without intending to bring about something very good. Yes, I am sure that God has many good things in store for you! Do not be overcome with sorrow, for there is still time for you to become a saint. +Father Ryan Erlenbushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07557817305024750902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578980753063154388.post-55593480231387583402014-08-19T12:35:18.291-07:002014-08-19T12:35:18.291-07:00Father, I feel like I took the cowards way out by ...Father, I feel like I took the cowards way out by having a tubal ligation after my second child was born. Before my two children I had three miscarriages. The two pregnancies were high risk because I had a lot of difficulties and illnesses during them. I was told by the Doctor that my next pregnancy could kill me and the child. The Priest told me that it was necessary because my life had been at risk. But I still wish I could have had more children even if it cost me my life. What if GOD still wanted me to have more children and I interfered.What if in TXnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578980753063154388.post-56184764455586328892014-08-19T10:22:50.879-07:002014-08-19T10:22:50.879-07:00Anonymous, please use a pseudonym.
The difficulty...Anonymous, please use a pseudonym.<br /><br />The difficulty is that Depo Provera seems to cause abortions in addition to being contraceptive. However, if she was injected against her will, then it seems quite clear that she need not abstain from marital relations. Depo Provera, though abortifacient, is not always the same as "committing an abortion", for the act is often not direct enough to be considered the intentional and direct killing of an unborn child.<br /><br />Indeed, while we are sad to know that children will likely be miscarried, it is also good to recall that their souls will continue to exist for all eternity in perfect natural happiness (if we accept limbo) and that they will get their bodies back one day too. Thus, there is a great good which comes from this sad event. <br /><br />However, if a couple were to willingly undergo Depo Provera, there may be more difficulty in this point -- yet, it seems to me that (even in this last case) marital relations would not necessarily have to stop.<br /><br />Peace! Father Ryan Erlenbushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07557817305024750902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578980753063154388.post-67752924990854758422014-08-19T10:13:25.574-07:002014-08-19T10:13:25.574-07:00Matthew, Thanks! Corrected!Matthew, Thanks! Corrected!Father Ryan Erlenbushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07557817305024750902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578980753063154388.post-67929052986496912452014-08-19T06:23:11.625-07:002014-08-19T06:23:11.625-07:00A friend was injected with Depo Provera against he...A friend was injected with Depo Provera against her will. Are she and her husband obliged to abstain until the effect wears off?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5578980753063154388.post-56329792855476324572014-08-18T19:15:12.139-07:002014-08-18T19:15:12.139-07:00The first sentence under "To answer the quest...The first sentence under "To answer the question" is missing something. I think you mean demand a reversal not demand the vasectomy.<br />MatthewAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com